Article: Extended sexual pleasure
An excerpt from Tantric Sex - Making love last by Cassandra Lorius published in the UK in 1999 by Thorsons. Reproduced with permission
Karen, 43: " Because my partner was able to make love for a long time without coming, we were able to reach extraordinary states of arousal. We had bursts of vigorous screwing, feeling very excited, but beyond the point of wanting have an orgasm. My whole body felt alive and tingling spreading out from my belly. We’d stop and lie together, with him still inside me, looking at each other. I felt a deep sense of peace and of love. It was very joyful, and blissful,whether we were screwing, or lying exhausted together. Neither of us wanted to break it. I was having little orgasms throughout our love-making, and eventually after hours, he’d have an orgasm, and we would get some rest,feeling fully satisfied in a way I’d never felt before.
I felt as if I’d really been met for the first time, that we’d really connected in this prolonged state of arousal without end.
Now I feel I’m more sensitive, and I can’t take that sort of intense friction of vigorous sex anymore. I understand more about the softness of opening out to him, and of slowness and sensuality. I feel deeply relaxed in my body now, and in touch with my own sensitivity."
Women’s sexual experience is often divided into five levels of orgasmic experience. From pre-orgasmic, sporadically orgasmic, orgasmic and multiply orgasmic. The fifth level is called extended sexual pleasure, in which the orgasmic response is lengthened in order to prolong sexual pleasure. The following exercise aims to teach techniques for doing this, which can prepare you for the sixth stage, which Tantric practitioners call "the wave of bliss". The wave of bliss involves expanding extended sexual pleasure into an altered state of consciousness, using the breathing and visualization techniques we’ve been exploring throughout the book.
Tantric writings describe Shakti as achieving seven peaks of ecstasy, each peak higher, stronger. and more powerful than the preceding, until at the topmost she releases her nectar or amrita (female ejaculation).
Men’s sexual experience is usually divided into the stages of ;arousal, build up to orgasm, orgasm and ejaculation.
Among advanced Tantric practitioners, these stages are separated. During extended sexual pleasuring men learn to peak and plateau again without going into orgasm. They then learn to orgasm without ejaculation, moving the subtle energies of sexual arousal away from the genitals and up through the inner flute. By moving energy away from the genitals, ejaculation may even disappear, but the body is capable of experiencing a whole body orgasm, in which erotic pleasure and the waves of energy produced in orgasm are diffused throughout the body.
Once you’ve gained the ability to orgasm without ejaculation, you can choose whether and when you’d like to ejaculate. Ejaculation no longer signals the end of love-making, but is just one of the many delightful experiences that are part of sacred sex.
Once you have learnt the basic method for extended sexual pleasure, both women and men can try adding in these Tantric elements:
* Connect with heart chakra of your partner, through your breath and visualization.
* While being pleasured, focus on your breathing; remain still, breathing slowly and deeply.
* Focus on drawing your energy up the inner flute (central energy channel) into your heart chakra.
* Visualizing energy moving into your higher chakras: Extend your sexual pleasure by drawing up the pleasure associated with the base chakra into the heart, where it manifests as joy. From there the sexual energy can be drawn into the crown chakra, where it manifests as bliss.
* Try this meditation: As orgasm starts breathe in deeply and slowly, and as you breathe out make as much noise as you can — or sing. According to Tantra teachers, Charles and Caroline Muir, the volume of your sound influences the volume of your orgasm. They say your orgasm will last as long as you keep vocalizing your breath —as many as several long breaths. As well as that, vocalizing opens your throat chakra, helping pull energy up your inner flute. You can imagine pulling the golden sexual energy up with your breath, into your heart, your throat, or your brow centres. Once you have managed to visualize your breath coming up through these successive charkas, you can visualize this golden light streaming all the way up to your crown, and uniting with the energy of your partner. Hold the vision of yourselves as radiant beings surrounded in a rainbow of light, linked to the divine.
* Love muscle squeeze. Experiment with these — men can clench the love muscle if they don’t wish to tip into ejaculation. Both men and women can use it to increase the erotic charge in the pelvis.